I want Time to Stop #StartOver Day 9 and Day 10

If you remember my post from Day 8, I woke up refreshed on day 9. I had a pleasant day.
I am still in the process of getting students used to my classroom procedures so they installed the Screencastify extension on their Chromebook and recorded themselves playing the 6 times table during the morning period on Day 9.

During the afternoon period, all students solved questions on the board. I really love #360math but it's difficult to manage classes where students don't work. Some students realized right away that the board work was the exact same questions as the test from Thursday. Answers were already provided for them. They had to show me work. Today was meant to teach the procedures for recording work and working on the boards. I told them they have to write their names on the top starting with their last names. They had to solve one question on the board and take turns writing on the board. They had to write big so I can see their work from the middle of the classroom. They also needed to have their Chromebooks with them since some teams solve problems faster than others so they need to scroll down on their own screen and not wait for the questions on my projector. They get credit based on working, not based on doing work correctly.

Surprisingly, 20 out of 36 students submitted their videos and worked on the board. The other students are still testing my patience or at the restroom when I approach them to help them. For a group of students who failed most of their classes last semester, they are really performing well. It makes me happy. I told students they can request good calls home. I had about 14 requests combined from both classes and I stayed after school Friday to share the good news with the parents of all 14 students. The highlight of the day was when Sarkis came up to me after the board work and told me that he realized he got the exploding dots questions wrong on the test. He said he realized he did it backwards. The whole point of #360math is students realizing what they are doing wrong and  learn from it or reinforce their correct work and I get to assess what I have to reteach. So I would say Day 9 was a success.

I ended Friday on a good note. What a huge contrast from Thursday where I thought I would have to quit teaching all together.

On Saturday, I graded the tests students took on Thursday. Now that I decided to enjoy the process and let go of things I can't control, more positive things were popping up. Even though I see the students for 4 periods, it is still only 2 groups of students. So when it came time to grade tests, I only had 2 classes to grade for. Most kids ditch class on test days so I only had to grade about 50 tests total. The ones who took the test tried hard. Out of my 67 students, 27 passed. It may not look like much to some of you, but to me, it is a huge victory. Let's not forget what I keep emphasizing. Most of the 67 students have failed almost all their classes throughout their high school years.

Today, which is now day 10 of my #StartOver semester, I was all smiles as I talked to my students about how many of them passed the test. Today, I wanted to make sure that students have the 20x20 times table in their notebook and that they understand how to glue the tests I return to them. I started the class by letting students know that I updated their grades. Then I told them I almost never give out extra credit. If their grade is low, they need to make up regular credit. The process is simple. They check their grades, if they notice a 0, they check the date and click on that date on Canvas. They make it up, then email me or show me so I can give them credit. I told them I take 20 percent off for late submissions because it's not fair to the students who turn them in on time. Today is a 40 minute short period day. I ended up spending the whole morning period returning their tests with a glue stick and times table chart and explaining to them how to glue it to their notebook. Don't worry. The students were copying 4 pages of notes that I planned on teaching today. We weren't wasting time. Plus, after today, all I have to do is tell them which page to glue their test and they'll know what to do. During the afternoon period, I was able to teach the multiplying and adding integer lesson from  exploding dots. Consistency really helps. Students are really getting this concept of exploding dots. There were no bad phone calls home today and three students requested good news calls. I realized I should stop taking requests since the same kids from Friday asked me to call again.

I think I lost a total of 5 children to Chromebooks today during the afternoon lesson. I actually joked around and messed with the kids today. They made fun of my high-pitched voice and I made fun of them trying to sound like me. I gave a few high fives to kids who were trying and I saw maybe a total of 40 correct answers from practice questions.

I am carefully optimistic about my 67 children. I learned that the pass rate for the class I teach at my District is at around 40 percent or lower. My heart flutters every time I see a child smile at me because she got the answer correct. And when they realize they made one little mistake, then fix it? I really do feel like a superhero.

Today is day 10 and I wish time will stop right now.

What my 6th grade son taught me at my darkest #StartOver Day 8

I took a break from blogging yesterday. I still want to share things for my betterment, but everything was doom and gloom in my head that I knew I wouldn't be helping myself if I wrote anything yesterday.

I started listening to "The Practicing Mind" by Thomas M Sterner on Audible at around 8pm. I didn't pick this audiobook. It's part of the free collection that comes with my Amazon Prime membership. I just wanted to take my mind off of work and think about something else.
Everything happens for a reason. This guy makes sense to me. He talks about golfers who's been playing for years and they are still horrible. What's wrong with this picture? Or what about people who are starting to learn to play golf who wants to play well for business purposes but does not practice at all then complain about their lack of progress?

I went to bed by 9pm and I woke up refreshed this morning.

I'm going to take Thomas Sterner's advice and enjoy the process. I'm going to continue and fine tune my skills as I navigate through the education system. I'm not going to be the same teacher from last year or even yesterday. So here I am. Blogging about yesterday.

I taught my students how to add fractions. The process was very sad. Students already took notes for this during station rotations on Wednesday. Most had the notes ready. I explained the above notes. It took between 1 and 2 minutes because I didn't have to wait for students to copy notes. Then I wanted to make sure students understood what I said for the past 2 minutes. So I called on N. "N, What is the first step in adding fractions?" She said she didn't know. "Sorry N. I don't know is not an option. What is the first step in adding fractions?" Then I pointed to step 1 on my screen. And I waited. Other students knew what was coming next but she didn't seem to realize it. One child blurted out the answer for her. "Find the common multiple!" I told K, "Thank you K, but you are not N. I want N to tell me. N, did you hear what K said? What is the first step?" Her station members pointed to her notes to guide her but now she was set on being resistant. I called mom. Mom said N told her that math is too hard for her. I gently reminded her that math is not the only subject she failed last semester. Mom tried to say something, then stopped. She said she will talk to N. I felt anger towards the mom. Why can't she just admit that something is wrong with her daughter's attitude? How does she explain the 5 F's in her daughter's report card from last semester? After the phone call, I asked other students questions to make sure they understood, and they answered. They didn't always answer correctly, but I saw them trying. Trying is always good.

(I realized my first step is wrong in my notes. We have to find the lowest common multiple. I wrote find the common factor. I fixed it today in class)

When the bell rang, Eric excitedly approached me and told me that he understood math for the first time in his life. I was walking on cloud 9 for about 3 minutes.

Then a new student was added to my class. I felt so much anger. She is my 36th child. We max out at 36. Do the counselors think I'm a superhero or something? I hated my life. Why did I volunteer? I don't need anyone to think I'm a good teacher. I can get by being normal.

You know what else? The class was meant for 9th and 10th graders. Counselors sent me 11th graders. I emailed the counselor and stated that this is a disservice to the child. Her response was that the children are from group homes and they will leave soon anyway. They really need help with math so they belong with me. I really am a dumping ground. I hate that counselor.

After school, Melanie, one of the teachers I actually respect, said she will cover my after school credit recovery class for me so I can attend the PBIS/MTSS/Discipline meeting. She is in charge of the credit recovery program. I want to describe her as "dedicated". Thanks to her, I attended the meeting. I was still very angry from the day's events. When the assistant principal ran the PBIS meeting, I felt like she wasn't respecting my opinions. I get paid for the credit recovery program. I volunteer for this meeting. Suddenly, I felt like I was wasting my time. I decided I will email her and let her know I no longer wish to volunteer.

After the meeting was over, I went back to my classroom to call another parent. E's mom was worse than N's mom. E failed all classes except Drama last semester. Mom was taking her daughter's side and telling me that E is not at fault since math is too hard for her. I hate this part of my job. I said, "I don't want to sound disrespectful, but you do know that math is not the only subject she failed, right?" Then mom says, "yeah. She always had a hard time with English and Math." I wanted to scream at her. "So how did your daughter fail PE and Spanish? When will you ever recognize that your daughter is no angel and do something about it?"

But I didn't. I wanted to hang up. I knew E won't be passing my class since mom won't be backing me up at home. Cuz it's my fault math is so hard. So I said to her. "Ok. Thank you. Can you please talk to your daughter about trying? I hope you have a good day. Good bye." I basically cut her off kindly in a very calm tone.

Then I went home. It was 6pm when I left.

So now you know why I didn't blog yesterday.

But today is today.
I woke up at 4:30am. I thought about the audiobook. I continued listening to it this morning on my way to work.

I decided I will go to one more PBIS/MTSS/Discipline meeting then email the assistant principal if I still feel like it is a waste of my time. In the end, I am a teacher and she is my boss and her vision trumps anyone else's vision. But I want to give this one more try. Because yesterday was a bad day for me. I don't want to project my feelings towards her.

I also thought about the two moms I spoke to yesterday. I am a mom too. I can't speak Spanish. I wouldn't know how to help my kids if they ever have a hard time with it in high school. If their teacher calls me, I might feel defensive. From one mom to another mom, I decided I'll cut them some slack. What does me being angry at the moms do any good for me or my students anyway?

As for the counselor, I can't forgive her. But as for the 11th graders, the poor children have bad grades in math. Since they are in group homes and they will soon move anyway, I should love them during their stay with me.

And I did have Eric who told me he understood math for the first time. Also the many other kids who are trying so hard to learn in fear of me calling their parents. They are so adorable when they try to produce work for me even though it's under duress.

Finally, Thursday was their very first test and as they turned in their test, they had to answer my 6 times table quiz in person. I saw them memorize the 6 times table before coming to me to turn in the test. They were nervous and some really didn't do well. But they really tried. It was really cute. I felt that I could at least get them to memorize the times table by the end of the semester. I saw hope.

So did one audio book change my perspective? No.

It was my son.

Today was the party for the honor roll students at his school. Last night, I asked him, "so, are you going to be okay tomorrow? I mean, you didn't get honor roll. During periods 2 and 4 you might get sad because some of your friends will be out playing and you'll be stuck in the classroom learning boring stuff. How many students got honor roll in your second period class?" My son didn't even hesitate for a second when he replied, "In my advanced English Language Arts class, everyone got gold honor roll except me. In my art class, only the loser kids will be left in the class." He sounded upbeat about it. I had to ask. "So how do you feel about it?"

He shrugged. Then he said, "mom, that was last semester. This is this semester. I'll make it this semester."

Yup. My son is deep. Thursday was Thursday. Today is today. Princess is back because I am my boy's mom.